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Friday, February 25, 2011

Wisdom from Kids...

Proverbs don't come only from the Bible. Sometimes Middle School Kids can be quite wise. Read these and see if you agree:

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Patrick, age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
Michael, 14

Never pee on an electric fence.
Robert, 13

Stay away from prunes.
Randy, 9

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
Emily, 10

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
Taylia, 11

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
Traci, 14

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Andrew, 10

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
Kyoyo, 10

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Armir, 10

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Kellie, 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Naomi, 14

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Lauren, 10

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Joel, 10

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
Alyesha, 13

Never, ever, try to baptize a cat.
Eileene, 11


T.D. said...


Too true, too true.... especially this one: When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. *bwahahaha*

Unfortunately, that doesn't work with me, as I'm *cough* homeschooled.... shoot, my mom GRADES my homework! :P

Great post. Made me laugh.

Anonymous said...

Those are really funny. My brother tried to baptize one of our cats, except he didn't have any water around so he did it with sand.

Jonathan Maiocco said...

That is some great advice! Haha...

Galadriel said...

"Out of the mouths of children and infants..."

Eagles Wings said...

Epic. I'll be sure to listen and obey! :P

Anonymous said...

HA!!! Thanks, Mr. Batson. That was awesome.


Elizabeth Eiowing said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That is sooo funny!!! I have another one to add though ;) "When you want to watch a movie ask your mom when she is on the phone or on the computer." ;) works every time! lol I LOVE these!

Star-Dreamer said...

So awesome! My grandma showed me a commic once that made me laugh and laugh!

There was a pare of kids all scratched up and dirty in the middle of a room, and their mom was looking down on them like, "what on earth happened to you?!"

And the little dilogue button said, "Mom, we've come to the conclusing that you just can't baptize a can."

Well, perhaps you have to see it to get the kick out of it that I did. lol! :D

Jake said...


That was epic.

I laughed...mentally. It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud (when reading something). But...the baptizing of the cat made me laugh. Out loud. So, here is the complimentary LOL for thee:




Thanks so much for sharing, Sir Batson! XD

Precentor said...

Oh dear...too many of those..dear me.

Paris said...

Those were hilarious! So cute!

Cloe said...

LOL. That was really funny. :)

Robert Treskillard said...

You can tell these kids have learned this wisdom the hard way. ;-)

I think I like "You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk" as the best one.

Sarah Pennington said...

LOL! ROTFL! Love this, Sir Batson, Elven Loremaster! These are excellent! I especially like these ones:

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."

"Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment."

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." (I can't do that though . . . my situation is the same as The Director's)

"Never, ever, try to baptize a cat." (Though I doubt they'd almost faint . . . you might, but the cat wouldn't.)

Excellent work, Sir Batson, Wielder of the Pen of Epicness!

You are the coolest living author I know.
-Lady Sarah, wannabe Swordmaiden

WayneThomasBatson said...

Glad you all like them. Just a reminder: I didn't make these up. Actual kids did. My principal sent this list out on Friday. I just thought they were so funny I wanted to share.

Sarah Pennington said...

They're still EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!
-Lady Sarah, wannabe Swordmaiden (still)

Pathfinder said...

Some of those remind me of lessons i've learned the hard way too many times. Sometimes it takes repetition to drill something like that through my thick skull. unfortunately. *glances at scarred fingers*

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
That one's way too true. Very painful.

jolayne said...

i have a ten year old sister named Emily and my family's going through the 'pull my finger stage' my dad laughed at "don't pull your dad's finger when he asks you to" and he couldn't stop himself when i said Emily age 10.
Also i have a almost 14 year old sister named Naomi, she has a horse and wants a kitten
These really made my day

Never alone

mooney said...

My kids and I loved these. I think we laughed the hardest at the last (baptizing the cat)

Anonymous said...


Jared said...

XD I've seen some of those before, but not all of them. Those are great!

Ruth Lopez said...

Hahahaha! My favorite is 'Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick' Too funny!

Sidney said...

Always read a book before your parents are going to read to say that you are mindreader

Sidney said...

Dont ever leave your spot because by the time you get back the dog will have it.

GOD guy said...

VERY funny, lol.

Ness said...

Haha, That made me laugh Mr. Batson :) And thanks for all the stuff you and Sir Hooper have done for us elves!

- Ness

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Anonymous said...

Those are awesome / very funny! This reminds me of my school's sports teams always leaving "tips" on a napkin for our waiters at restaurants. Don't worry, we give them money, too!