Have You Been Tested?

Have you ever heard of the Solomon Test? 

Living in the era of pandemics, we are probably all a little tired of getting tested, but the Solomon Test is something we should consider “getting over with––and sooner rather than later.”

King Solomon, David and Bathsheba’s son, has been described in the Bible and elsewhere as the wisest man who ever lived. He was also one of the wealthiest, most prolific, most epicurean, and most vexed. The Book of Ecclesiastes records Solomon’s trial and error discovery of what, from here on out, we’ll refer to as the Solomon Test. Here’s the basic structure of the test:

Step 1: As a human being, recognize that you need “something” to give meaning to your life.

Step 2: Try every earthly solution you have access to or can work hard enough to obtain to see if it/they can finally fulfill you. 

Two steps. That’s it. Seems innocent enough but beware! If you aren’t careful, you can spend your entire life taking and retaking the Solomon Test. And in the end, find your soul… vexed.

In the dieting world, we are often advised to “fail fast.” I know something about this theory because I’ve tried just about every diet under the sun. The theory proposes that dieting is a very individualized experience. There is no one-size-fits-all diet because human beings are so unique. Therefore, if you try a diet, it is best to “fail fast,” ie: to discover, “Hey, this doesn’t work for me.” Why waste a year of your life to discover that the diet just isn’t for you when you could instead… fail fast.

I think Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes is trying very hard to help us all to fail fast, or maybe even take some good advice and avoid the fail altogether. He tells us all about HIS “Solomon Test.” As King, Solomon had every earthly desire and goal at his fingertips. He decided to put all things to the test to see if anything could provide meaning. Spoiler Alert: Solomon discovered that there is nothing new under the sun and that all is vanity. 

Solomon tried to find meaning in wisdom. He tried to find meaning in work. He tried to find meaning in physical pleasure. He tried to find meaning in food and drink. He tried to find meaning in money and possessions. His conclusion: it’s all like chasing after the wind. As soon as you reach out to grasp it, you’ve lost it. Solomon is honest. The things he tried did fulfill him… for a time. For a very fleeting time. Those pleasures and riches were fun, but the fulfillment came and went. 

It reminds me of the rock concerts I went to in my late teens and early twenties. I had my favorite bands and became so excited to see them live in concert. The day arrives. The show begins. Euphoria! Especially when the band does some of your favorite songs. Then, the lights come up. The band leaves the stage. And you join the thousands stuck in traffic as you try to depart the arena. The aftermath of the concert can leave you with a warm glow for a little while. You feel spent but satisfied. For a time. A few days later, the concert is little more than a fond memory, the satisfaction is mostly gone. Vanished. 

In Chapter 1, Verse 2, Solomon tells us the conclusions of ALL of his research: “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity.” Did you know the word “vanity” and the word “vanish” come from the same root, meaning empty, idle, or futile? That connection makes sense if you think it through. The vain person who spends his life on himself will ultimately come to nothing, will ultimately… vanish from meaning. Ouch. That stings a little, at least, to me it does. If I’m honest, I’ve tried the Solomon Test. In fact, I’ve taken the test and failed. And yet, I still sign up and take the test again. I think I’m a prime example of what Solomon was trying to warn us about: we can waste our entire lives pursuing self. 

We can take the Solomon Test over and over and over again. Even the band Loverboy knew about this human tendency. We learn to work for the weekend. Or we learn to work for the vacation. Or we learn to work for… fill in the blank. And it all seems fun and satisfying until it doesn’t. It’s time that’s the killer. So very many things in life can feel meaningful. But over time, it all loses its luster. You can win the Super Bowl, you can write the bestseller, you can marry the pretty girl, you can get the big house, you can have a lovely family, you can eat the best foods, drink the $15 cocktails, and you can even live to a spritely, ripe old age, but time will burn it all down. We all die. Solomon wasn’t being morbid. He was being realistic. He thought it through and realized he could amass the greatest fortune, the greatest kingdom, and the greatest stockpile of “anything people want,” and in the end, someone who comes after him will get it all. 

At least Solomon had the wisdom to recognize this dynamic and the courage to admit it. If anyone is like me, we don’t usually sit around and think, “You know what? I’m going to live my life all about food.” And yet at times, functionally, I have lived that way. If it’s not food, it’s likely to be something else, but it’s the same dynamic. We seek meaning, sometimes unconsciously, through anything and everything under the sun, but if it’s under the sun, then it is bound by time and decay. It is fleeting. It is vanity. It will vanish. 

Feeling depressed yet? By God’s grace, Solomon had a chapter 12 at the end of the book of Ecclesiastes. If everything time-based, everything under the sun can never satisfy us or give meaning to our lives, what can we turn to? Must we despair or medicate until time turns us to dust? Solomon tells us emphatically, no. The opening and closing verses of Chapter 12 offer us a hope and a strategy. In verse 1, Solomon says, “Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, “I have no delight in them.” If time-based pursuits are vanity, like chasing the wind, we must seek something outside of time, something that doesn’t decay or die. God. Seek Him now. Invest all of those other pursuits in Him, but let your meaning come from Him not the activities. Do not make an idol of work, but make work an avenue to serve God. Do not make food and drink into idols of temporary satiation, but rather give thanks to God for every morsel, every dram. 

In verse 13 at the end of Chapter 12, Solomon summarizes, “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person.” In this case, fear does not mean run around in stark terror but rather to give God His due respect and due thanks. Spend your efforts and investments on this Earth in the context of loving God, loving people, being obedient, and giving thanks. Only then, can we infuse the temporal, the time-based pursuits of life, with the eternal. His eternal. 

I don’t know what it is about human nature that some of us so easily discard the advice of “people who have been there, done that.” Those who traveled this path before us, like Solomon, often offer us a window to hard-earned wisdom. And yet, we often have to “learn things the hard way,” ie: learning things ourselves through experience. If that’s the case, fellow travelers, go ahead, take the Solomon Test. But fail fast. Fail fast, turn to God, and live for Him.   

   

 

Quiet Desperation...

 Poet, philosopher, naturalists, etc., Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." I think his observation is both brilliant and woefully short-sighted. He might have an escape clause, if by "men" he meant the "mankind" all-of-humanity kind of men. I would argue we all live lives of quiet desperation. We can only deaden the ache so much, for no matter how much food, alcohol, and pleasurable company we may procure, the ache still remains.

CS Lewis calls it the "inconsolable longing" for something we've smelled, heard, tasted, or felt from an agonizing distance. We find some comfort in structure, in routine, in "what I ought to be doing," but we can't help but feel that, in the end, we know we're in "The Matrix." We know that something isn't right. We know that we're incomplete. We know that we're missing out...on something.

Most of us succumb to the idea that...if I could just get, become, achieve, or acquire "the next thing," then, all will be well. I think somewhere deep down, we all at least suspect that, even if we do get the greatest thing, find the most loving person, or reach the highest heights...we'll still be left with that nagging ache. Movie stars, rock stars, lottery winners, super bowl winning teams, and billionaires have shown us over the years that whatever earthly height we can imagine will never be quite high enough.

I'm an English and Reading teacher, but somehow, over the last several years, I've been teaching middle school students about careers. In that study, we take an in-depth look at careers over the years, how historical events, technology, and culture influence careers. Studying history can be very revealing. One of the aspects of history that I've noticed is this: as affluence and privilege increase, so does immorality. Don't get me wrong. I am not shaking a judgmental finger, as if I somehow know better than all of humanity. I'm likely just as immoral as any other person on the planet. Honestly, the older I get, the more I feel like we human beings really ought to be cutting each other a little bit more slack.

Honestly, beyond lives of quiet desperation, I'd argue that we're all just stubborn, needy, desperate souls throwing shit at the walls and hoping...praying that something sticks. Why are we pushing up against any and every cultural norm? Why are we searching for alternate identities? Why are we starting to try to identify as things we are not? Why are we aggrandizing sexuality to the point that it is all we identify with? I believe it's because we're all hoping beyond hope that we'll find "something to make sense of it all," whatever "it all" is.

It's at about this time that you expect me to start preaching, right? Batson is one of those born again Christian folk. Of course, he's going to say, turn to Jesus, right?

To be quite honest, Jesus is my ultimate conclusion, but I wouldn't dare to presume upon your lives. I will urge you, however, to be more purposeful searchers. This is no joke. Life, this day-after-day thing that adds up to a lifetime is the most vital thing we have. Invest it in the "finding out." I've done my homework. I've researched science. I've researched world religions. I've investigated claims. I explored my own psyche. In the end, I can't get past God. I can't fathom a world of ten trillion trillion intricacies...that didn't have a lucid cause. Of all the world religions, only one speaks of grace. Only one offers a Christ who would go through all the hell on earth that we're all going through and then cap it all by being tortured and murdered...for me. Only one rose from the dead. But...that's my conclusion. I've done my homework. I am satisfied.

And yet...the ache remains.

I once believed and, for a long, long time, stubbornly held on to the idea that once I became a Christian, my life would all come together. The ache would be so satiated by Jesus that I would never long for more. Here I tread dangerous ground because I'm sure there are many believers who would say unequivocally that Jesus fulfills their each and every need. With all due respect, I salute those contented beings and...I say, "well, that is not my experience." My experience is much more of what the bible describes. "In this world, you will have trouble." Yes, I have Jesus, but I'm living in decay. Yes, I have Jesus, but it still hurts when my children are sick. It still makes me weep when I watch the news. It still feels like everything has gone terribly, horribly wrong. I'm just being honest about my experience. Sue me.

Jesus once said to the woman at the well, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." In my experience, the thirst comes back. Some might argue that I never really "drank the water that Jesus gives." Maybe I never really believed. Maybe I lost my salvation. Maybe...or maybe not. Maybe what is shortsighted is the popular understanding of the type of thirst Jesus was talking about here. There's physical thirst when our bodies actually need physical water or...we'll dehydrate and die. And then, there's felt thirst. We might not be on the verge of death, or even remotely close to dehydration, but we still want something to drink. In my experience, in whatever version of Christianity I've lived into, Jesus has satiated the physical-need thirst. I have an anchor in my soul that is steadfast, ironclad, trustworthy, and loving. But this isn't heaven. I still want things to drink.

And here, to me, is the difference that Jesus makes. I am hard-pressed, but not crushed; I am perplexed, but not in despair; I am persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed. My thirst has been quenched, but I am still thirsty. The wound that causes the ache has been ultimately healed, but like the phantom pain of an amputee, I still feel the ache. But, for the last time, these are my conclusions after almost 50 years of searching. I've done my homework. I am content to live with the ache.

Dr. King's "The Fierce Urgency of Now," Reflections.

 "We are now faced with the fact that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked and dejected with a lost opportunity. The "tide in the affairs of men" does not remain at the flood; it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is deaf to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residue of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words: "Too late." There is an invisible book of life that faithfully records our vigilance or our neglect. "The moving finger writes, and having writ moves on..." We still have a choice today; nonviolent coexistence or violent co-annihilation."

Speech delivered by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., on April 4, 1967, at a meeting of Clergy and Laity Concerned at Riverside Church in New York City.

One year later, to the day, Dr. King was shot and killed.

I've always been a "seize the day" kind of guy. Ask my students over the years, and they'll tell you that I preach to them, somewhat ad nauseum, that time is our most precious commodity. Dr. King's words declaring "the fierce urgency of now" resonates so deeply with me and in so many different ways that I don't know where to start. I do know, however, where I want to end.

Of all the myriad aspects of life for which God might judge us, I suspect that how we spent the time given us will be accounted quite heavily. Time is an unknown, finite quantity for each of us. Since we don't know how much time, we ought to recognize every minute as it approaches, as precious. The Lord has given each of us gifts, but gifts not to clutch, cover up, or spend on ourselves only. These are gifts to share. God gave me imagination, worlds to create, and hope to spread. As I look back over my life, I'm convicted that if I hadn't wasted so much time, I might have doubled the number of books I've written. But the past is not the way. (Thanks, Mando)

There is only now, only the way forward. What is your gift? Use it. Use it now. The "moving finger" continues to write. What do I want it to write? In the end, I hope it writes, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Gobsmacked by God!

UPDATE: Color me gobsmacked! (always wanted to use that word). Yesterday, I announced a need for Door Within books so that I could actually teach the book to my Reading classes. Then, as I was teaching, my phone started blowing up with Facebook alerts. When the kids were dismissed to go home for the day, I finally got a chance to check Facebook. 

 

 

I sat at my desk in tears. I got chills. Witnessing God at work blew me away. In less than an hour, you wonderful readers, family, and friends had purchased more than 40 Door Within books for my classes. By the time I drove home, you had purchased 60+ books. By dinner time, you had purchased 80+ books! And that doesn't even count those wonderful souls who donated $$$ via PayPal! I'm not finished sorting it all out, but I'm pretty sure I have enough books for this year and next year too!

 

 

To say "Thank you" doesn't begin to cover my gratitude, awe, and heart warmth over your generosity and kindness. You have been witnesses of God to me, in an act that I will never forget as long as I live.

You all literally SOLD OUT Amazon of my Door Within books, causing Amazon to order more from the publisher, not once but twice! And, in the process, you catapulted The Door Within to several high spots on Amazon's Bestseller by Category lists!

And, on top of all that, with news of your book orders, many of you posted such impassioned testimonials about The Door Within books that you have given me indestructible hope, amped faith, and an uncanny sense of wonder.

Thank you. Thank you. You have shown me that I am indeed, Never Alone.

-Wayne

No Need to Knock

Why don't we pray? I have a list of reasons / excuses as long as my arm. Maybe you do too. Today, I was struck with an idea to put into a kind of story. I was listening to Stephen Curtis Chapman's song "Let Us Pray," and had a series of images come to mind. I think it was to help me pray. Maybe it will help you as well. 

No Need to Knock

I leave the confines of my room for the long hall with equally great weariness and wariness. I have not traveled this way for too long a time, and I do not know what I will find at the passage’s end. As soon as the flickering torchlight scatters my shadows, I feel an overwhelming urge, like an undertow, grasping with unseen hands to pull me back. I want to go back. A voice of my own thoughts whispers, “This is a path of privilege, the way of valiant souls…and royalty. It is not for me.”

I take small, tentative steps forward. I am reminded of all the times I have come this way and failed. How often had I turned back because it was too late, missing the appointment because I was distracted? How many occasions had I been turned away because I was not properly attired? How frequently had I ascended until I just…couldn’t…take…another…step, awakening later to retreat in shame? The voice is right. This path is not for me.

Especially today. Today, I am a pauper, covered in threadbare rags and drenched in filth and blood. I bear unfathomable guilt like a rotting second skin. I do not belong in this hall, the hall that stretches before me, its end in shadow growing farther—not nearer—with each heavy step. Just make it to the next torch, I tell myself. And then the next. I press on, but the incline grows steeper. My foot loses purchase. I fall and slide backward in the slick of my own grime. 

Weeping, I flail and climb to my unsteady feet. Too hard. Too far. I know I will never make it. Still, the torchlight never wavers. The One I seek keeps them alight. I know I must continue. Continue or die.

I pass one torch. Then another. I am moving more quickly now. How many torches behind me? I don’t look back. At last, the shadow ahead parts like a curtain. I am almost there! The door is before me, looming like the impenetrable gate of a fortified castle. I stand just two paces away. I raise my fist—

“There is no need to knock,” comes the voice of the One. “The door is open.”

Still seemingly heavy beyond reckoning, the impassive door glides inward, and I am bathed in light. I am at once blinded…and seen. I duck my head. I should not have come.

Fingers. Gentle as silk but stronger than iron, the fingers cup my chin and lift my head. I see the One at last, and all fear flees. And suddenly, suddenly, I feel quite absurd. 

“Tell me, my child,” He says, “why did you wait so long?”

The uncanny mirth of my situation gets the best of me, and I laugh. Why indeed did I wait so long? 

And then, I recall. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I was afraid.”

And then, it was His turn to laugh, a great braying, thunderous laugh. “You were afraid? Of me? But child, I love you. You are always welcome in my presence.”

“I thought I had waited too long,” I say. “Too late for—”

“Too late for my Grace?” His eyes shine down on me like kindly searchlights. “I am beyond time, my child. My Grace cuts the fabric of time. There is no late.”

“But I have been rebuffed.” The brittle words spill from my mouth like icicles in the sun. “I am clothed in wretchedness.”

“Rebuffed? Not by me. And your garb? You simply were not seeing clearly. Shall I fetch you a mirror?”

Those massive, gentle hands hold out an exquisite looking glass framed in pristine silver. Its pure beauty is no match for the figure I see in the reflection. I am clothed in white and gold…and glory.
I manage to splutter, “How…?”

“My Son,” He replies. “You wear the garments He purchased on your behalf. His very own.” He withdraws the looking glass, but His smile is more radiant than anything I have yet seen.

“Your Son,” I whisper. “He paid an awful price.”

“Yes.”

“For me.”

“Yes.”

“And yet, like the others, there are times that I cannot stay awake…to keep watch?”

“What father would not be warmed by His child’s words trailing off into slumber? What father would not feel the kindling of love by His child’s sleeping in His arms?”

Tears spill over my lids and run down my cheeks. “But so many times I am heavy with guilt of my own transgression. Like today, I have sullied your Son’s garments with the blackest ash of my sin.”

“That is especially why you have come,” He says. “This is my Throne of Grace. When you are besmirched, there is no place else for you to turn, not without incurring terrible costs. And there is no other place but the Throne of Grace where you will actually receive help in your time of need.” 

I am overwhelmed and euphoric. “I…I can come any time? No matter what I’ve done?”

“Any time,” He says. “Day or night. And, child, the long arduous hall you imagine at times? It is simply not there. There is a door to my Throne of Grace, and it is always open. Just come.” 

14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. 16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4: 14-16)

Higher Ways (Thank God!)

I'm convinced that the majority of a Christian's most troubling internal conflicts originates in our nearly constant assuming that God is like us: He thinks like us, He loves like us, and He acts like us. After all, we are made in God's image. No disputing that. But notice the order: WE are made in GOD'S image. GOD is NOT made in OUR image. Mixing those two up is 6 tons of trouble. It's an easy trap to fall into. We live in our own minds. Our experiences and our baggage and our filters all tell us how to interpret everything in our lives: our work, our relationships, and yes, our God.

This is IMHO why Proverbs 3:5 warns us to "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding." Our own understanding is flawed and liable to lead to insidious conclusions. We can be sure of this because sin (our sin, as well as, the sins of others) infects our thinking. We are seeing things through fogged up glasses. But even if it weren't for sin, we'd still fail to see things as God does. We are human. We are lesser than He. God is "other."

Isaiah 55: 8-9 really hammers home the differences between our ways and God's ways: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. ⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." God is not telling us to throw out our brains. Nor is He telling us not to use the powers of reason He's given us to interpret life. But God is clearly saying that our human wisdom MUST submit to God's ultimate wisdom. When life crashes down around us and we scream out, "WHY?", God replies, "Trust me. I know everything."

THANK GOD. 

Do you feel the relief in that? Do you feel the freedom, the chains of our own limitations falling away? I do. It means, when I condemn myself for falling short, and I assume that God has put me on His "bad kid" list, I am wrong. God's thoughts are higher than mine. He understands the situation I'm in, what I've thought, what I've done—and yet, He does not deal with us as we would deal with ourselves. I can abandon my own understanding of the situation and trust God to deal with me according to His ways. 

Musician and author Andrew Peterson has a song called "Just as I Am," and it brings this point home (and crushes me) in this section of the song:



All of my life I've held on to this fear
These thistles and vines ensnare and entwine
What flowers appeared
It's the fear that I'll fall one too many times
It's the fear that His love is no better than mine



How often do we destroy ourselves, berate ourselves, condemn, and sentence ourselves because we think that God's justice, His understanding, and His love is no better than ours. But His ways ARE better, far better. As far as the heavens are from the earth better.

When we look at the world and begin to despair—that's our thinking, our understanding, our ways. God sees the world in higher ways. He is outside of time, and so He sees everything in Past, Present, and Future—all at once. He knows that evil does not win. He knows that our brief existence on this earth pales in comparison to eternity. And, in what is probably the most difficult reality to wrap our feeble brains around, He know how and why the tragedies, sorrows, sufferings, and seemingly senseless evils of this world can and will be used for good. We can't see it, but He can. We can trust Him to know better. Honestly, that's a relief to me. God's wisdom, His heart, His intentions, His glory—are all WAY  above my pay grade. 

What does this all mean in a practical sense? One: we have—at last—the ammunition with which to fight the thought battle. How many times a day do negative self talk thoughts invade your mind? How often do sinful thoughts intrude? "Look what I did. Look what I thought about. I must not be a Christian." Those are logical human thoughts based on our standards or our understanding of God's standard. Hidden beneath those negative thoughts, we are assuming that God handles things the way we would. "If I had an employee who screwed up like I do, I'd fire him and toss him out on his butt." We think that way. Society teaches such messages all the time. But God's ways are higher. His word, His promises are ironclad beyond our hapless analysis. He does not treat us as we deserve but offers grace. 

Knowing that God's thoughts and ways are greater than our own can help us avoid sin as well. We walk down the street and see a homeless person—whoosh, instant judgment leaps into our minds. But God sees that dear person as a precious child of His own. God knows that homeless person inside and out, his whole life story, and God knows where that person's eternity will be spent. We. Have. No. Clue. And therefore, no room to judge. Knowing this, we can ask ourselves and ask God, "How do you see this person? Help me to see that person as you do."

When we are tempted by sinful pleasures and the mind is flooded with visuals and anticipated ecstasy, we can fight back. This pleasure that I think I need, it is just that: "what I THINK I need." My thinking is flawed. God says, "Avoid that act. It's a shortcut. It's a snare. Follow my ways and trust that I hold more pleasures and treasures for you than you can possibly imagine!"

When we are confused by passages in the Bible, we can do our due diligence and research and study…and still come up short. There, we must remember: God's ways are higher than my ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. We can ask God for wisdom and then trust that when we need that wisdom most, God will provide it. 

When we are divided over issues of race, politics, sexuality, social status, ad infinitum, we might be tempted to attach another person, unleashing the full might of our logic, condemnation, and judgement upon the other. If we remember that God's wisdom, His thoughts and ways are unfathomably higher than our own, we ought to humble ourselves. We ought to cool our jets. We ought to tell the truth IN LOVE. And, we ought to trust God, for He alone can change another human being from the inside out. I know. I know. It's crushing to think our facebook posts and snarky comments on social media won't change a human being's heart. But that's the deal: God is the heart changer. Instead of unleashing our bile on another human being, how about loving the human being, respecting his or her perspective (not agree with it), and seek to kindly find the threads of truth that God wants to weave into the conversation. Be kind. People are fighting battles we know nothing about. But God does know.

Maybe that crazy guy who cut you off in traffic this morning is driving recklessly because he's trying to get to the hospital where his daughter has just been admitted. Maybe that teenage daughter of yours rages at you because she's dealing with emotions and daily turmoil that we cannot see. 

And, more than anything else, because God's thoughts and ways are higher than our own, we MUST realize that people are NOT the enemy. It may feel like they are. They may speak like they are, but beneath it all, there are spiritual forces at work. Ephesians 6:12 tells us "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm."

Sin and the enemy of our souls are the real antagonists. These are spiritual issues, so we need to fight spiritually. Pray for God to exert His will in the lives of "these people who just don't get it." And while we're at it, pray that God would exert His will in our own lives…since we don't totally get it either.

The only gift we ALL need...

Look, I know that you are not stupid. And I know that you are probably wandering through life, in many ways, just like I am. You know something's not quite right. You know the world isn't the way it's supposed to be. There's too much pain; too much suffering, and not enough love, not by a longshot.

You've been to church. You've met so-called Christians. You WISH there had been more to it, but were left feeling empty. So now, you disappear into the routines of every day. Step 1 thru Step 9, and then you go to sleep and start it all over again. You wish there was something more, but science has proven there isn't. So you just go on, doing the best you can. And as Henry David Thoreau put it, you "live a life of quiet desperation."

There's a part of you, bruised and battered because every time it speaks up, you hit is with your fists until your knuckles are raw and bleeding. But this part will not be silent, not completely. It whispers to you: "There is more." It makes your skin crawl with the idea that this life is not all there is. And somehow, some way, you know you were meant to travel on, to be transcendent. That the grave will not consume you whole, but will let some inner part of you go.

I wish I could reach out to each one of you and somehow change your heart. But all I can do is tell you what I've seen and what I know. As the apostles said, "Gold and silver, I do not have but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."

That's right. Walk. You think all this life has been is walking. No. This life is a long distance crawl, and worse, it's like Atlas pushing that stupid stone world up the hill, only for it to come rolling back down around us or over us. You're so right. This world SUCKS. This world is NOT what it should have been. And this world is NOT all there is.

Jesus came and picked me out of a strawberry field. That's my story. I was working at one of those pick-your-own strawberry patches, and it was my senior year at UMCP. An old old friend came out that late afternoon to pick strawberries. He ended up picking me. He simply asked "How are you doing?" And somehow, against my better judgment, I did not respond with the usual, "Fine, how are you." Instead, I said, "I'm actually awful."

And that was such a strange thing for me to say. I had just graduated near the top of my class. I had letters of recommendation that made me blush because of the high praise. I was quite certain of a teaching position and quite certain I would become the next Stephen King. But God revealed to me that I was broken. I left a relationship with a very sweet young lady, in the worst possible way. And the future, to me, looked more of a burden than anything else.

I had this pressure on my chest. I can't explain it. But it was like God pointed His finger directly into my pectoral muscle. All day long, I felt it. And I cried out to everyone I trusted, trying desperately to explain what I was experiencing. But the only person who had a clue about what I felt was the old friend who came out to the strawberry field.

He said, "Wayne, could it be that God is trying to get your attention?" He went on to babble a TON about Jesus and being born again and all that. And I nodded a lot. But, honestly, I didn't really care "what" he was saying. But I was absolutely captivated by the peace that he wore like a glow in the dark suit. He had, I knew, something I had never ever had. There was peace and security and well, a sense of love and belonging that I'd never thought possible.

So we agreed to meet together to read through the bible's book of Romans together, and I read Romans 7 and it hit me over the head like a sledgehammer. It was a full color portrait of me, but written 2000+ years before my birth. I was stunned. And I prayed that Jesus would forgive my sins (many, many, many sins). And I believed in Jesus for eternal life.

My life didn't instantly become a JOYFUL merry go round. It has been a struggle. I have doubted more than God deserves, and I have struggled and fought, and came kicking and screaming back to the realization that God. IS. REAL. That, JESUS, IS. REAL. And that He is both GOOD and LOVING, and calling out to all of us. The transcendence I feel in my deepest heart, I now realize is eternity calling. An eternity with Jesus in a world that knows no pain, no tears, no sickness, and no death.

When my father died last October (2015), the bottom dropped out from under my feet. Suddenly, death was something real and for those left behind, crushingly permanent. Look, you can deny it all you want, but you are going to die. You may be hitting the gym and eating kale all the time, but still, the death ratio is 100 to 0. No matter how much fun you can fill your life with, it's going to end. And likely, people you love will be taken before you, and you will feel the aching emptiness of that loss. This is no joke. This isn't funny. No movie, no book, no alcohol or drug can take away this truth: you will die. And though you invest in stocks and bonds, though you have the greatest life insurance known to man, though you have given careful thought to the legacy you will leave behind...you are still leaving.

There's a place in you, battered like your bloody knuckles, a place that is weeping quietly that everything you've done in this world, every single act, every memory, and every experience, will melt away when you die. There's a divine melancholy that hits you at the end of every birthday, every Christmas, every Vacation. A very real sense that what should be....didn't last as long as it should have. And, if you're honest, you'll see that this feeling is real.

All I'm saying is this: I'm 48, the wrong side of forty. You might be fifteen, thirty, twenty-four, or sixty. It doesn't matter. Time will kill you. And after? There will be eternal life. One way or the other. You will not disintegrate and be no more. You will live on. I beg of you, look for Jesus. Read the book of John or read Romans and see. Taste God and see that He is good. He's not closed minded and intolerant as the modern press would preach. Instead, He offers eternity to EVERYONE who would believe in Jesus and what He did on the cross, saving us from our sins.

I hope I've got a lot of time left. I want to see my kids graduate high school and college. I want to see them get married and make a dent for good in this world. I want to write a gazillion more books. But more than anything else, I want to see people believe in Jesus and be forgiven. I want to see you all in the GREATEST PARTY IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE. In heaven. That's our real home. As much as this world doesn't feel quite right, Heaven with Jesus will feel like the far off country we've always felt rumor of. And it will be ours to share with the Lord forever.

If you've read this and believed in Jesus, please message me. If you have questions, doubts, flaming rebuttals, etc, message me.

Creation vs Evolution: The Debate RAGES on. But, maybe there Should be Less Rage.

I'm a Christian and a creationist. I believe that God created the world. And frankly, I think it's immature how some evolutionary thinkers act like creationists are stupid or insane or both. BUT, I'm even more concerned by Christian creationists who are beginning to represent evolutionists as stupid or crazy or both. We Christians are supposed to know better than that. Love neighbors as yourself, right?

I think we've already lost the chance at an honest discussion if we characterize those who believe in evolution as idiots. It's insulting, and, for the most part, it's just not true. Evolution believers run the full spectrum of intelligence just as creationists do. There are some absolutely BRILLIANT people on that side of the argument. Don't kid yourself. These are people who, at the highest levels, if engaged in an informal debate with most of us, would undress our arguments in record time.

And don't laugh off the evidence for evolution. There's TONS of it, much of it at the microbial level which most of us wouldn't even begin to understand. HOWEVER, their intelligence and the metric tons of evidence don't prove evolution is true. All it proves is that if you have a predisposed bias toward a naturalistic explanation of the world, THEN, evolution is the Inference to the Best Explanation. They see the fossil record, the similar DNA, the similar biological features...and they conclude: common ancestor.

Our side, the Creationist side, is the same. Brilliant folks here too. And metric tons of evidence for Creation. And, I believe, it's built so much more on common sense. Our predisposed bias toward a supernatural explanation of the world leads to creation as our Inference to Best Explanation. We see the fossil record, the similar DNA, the similar biological features...and we conclude: common Artist.

The trouble comes when either side fails to grant that the other side might have a shred of intelligence and an inference worth at least considering respectfully in an open dialogue. The secondary trouble comes when either side mistakenly represents its argument as FACT. Both Evolution and Creation are theories...inferences, conclusions drawn from evidence.

In addition, if we're ALL honest, both sides of the argument are really engaged in a belief system. Evolution's religion = naturalism. Creation's religion = Christianity (among some others). None of us were alive when everything began. And none of us lived long enough to confirm or deny what we believe happened over time. In fact, if you go back far enough, both evolutionists and creationists believe in a type of supernatural creator. Evolutionists / naturalists go back to an eternal particle or element, from which everything evolved. Christians go back to an eternal God who created everything.

Rather than shot insults at each other, maybe we should begin with those things that we have in common. My .02. 

Christianity Investigation Files #1: Holy Spirit Confirmation--What is it?

Christianity Investigation Files #1: Romans 8:16 "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God..."

What exactly does this mean? What exactly is the "our spirit" spoken of here? Is it our thinking-consciousness? Is it a physical feeling? And in what sense does the Holy Spirit "bear witness" ...that we can sense with our spirit?

This has been one of the most vexing things about living as a Christian and sometimes wrestling mightily wondering if I really am a Christian. I've often thought that it would have been nice if all people came equipped with one of those oven-stuffer-roaster pop up things, so that when we become a Christian, -*POP*- the little thing pops up, and we know.

Alas, no pop up widget for us. But the Bible definitely seems to declare that the Holy Spirit will confirm our adoption into the family of God, ie: Getting Saved. What does this feel like? I mean really, all cliches aside. What are the specifics that we can tic off as to Holy Spirit confirmation?

Epidemic Part 1: The Spreading Contagion

When the Black Plague swept through Europe between 1348 and 1350, it gouged out 30-60% of Europe's population and reduced the world's population by an estimated 100 million souls. With all due respect to the Black Death, there is a far worse contagion spreading in the world today. I suspect it has claimed more lives than the plague, cancer, and all other horrifying diseases put together.

Its symptoms include the following:

• persistent, gnawing pain radiating from the abdomen
• severe, agonizing heart constriction
• erosion of the mind, dementia, anxiety, and depression
• slow necrotizing (rotting) of the flesh
• perpetual death-like episodes
• almost 100% fatality rate  

Lest you hurt yourself sprinting to the nearest pharmacy for face masks and rubber gloves, this contagion cannot be prevented by any of the so-called Universal Precautions. No amount of antibacterial gel will protect you from this. It enters through the eyes or ears. Often, it spontaneously generates within the brain tissue or in the lining of the heart itself. You cannot run from it; you cannot keep it out; you cannot retreat to some secluded spot and hope to avoid it. For in the very act of isolating yourself, you will cause the contagion to spawn within you.

The worst aspect of this disease, indeed the facet that makes this contagion the greatest tragedy in history is…that there is a cure for it, but the cure is almost universally shunned.

The name of this contagion is Selfishness, and it is spreading.

The Bible has much to say on selfishness. This verse from Philippians 3 is particularly expressive:

¹⁸ For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. (Phil 3: 18-19, NIV, BibleGateway.com)

Did you catch that phrase? "Their god is their stomach." In other words, their lives are all about their wants, lusts, and appetites. That is a scathing rebuke. But Christians, lest we sit back and think, "Yeah, those hell-bound heathens really are selfish, aren't they?" Perhaps we ought to consider our own selfishness. I won't speak authoritatively about all Christians, but I suspect that many of us are infected with the most virulent forms of selfishness. And I contend that we are, in fact, worse than the lost because we know the cure and yet we still shun it. And our selfishness does more damage than any nonChristian's selfishness ever could.

More to come on the Nature of this Contagion, Causes, and Cure in future posts...

The Perfect Footwarmer…and Maintaining an Attitude of Gratitude.

My cat Rusty is the perfect footwarmer. And often, Rusty will enter my room while I'm writing, meow once or twice (to announce his coming, I suspect), and then curl up right on my feet under my desk. For this simple thing, I thank God.

It brings to mind the simple pleasures of life that God gives us, often in abundance. I'm not talking about the healing of a loved one, or a 10K bonus at work, or a friend believing in Christ--those are ultra blessings. I'm thinking more of the cool breeze in the middle of the day, the smile of a young daughter, the motes dancing in a sunbeam, the perfect coffee, a hug, a cool wisp of cloud, a comfortable chair...you get the idea. Trouble is how often we allow these everyday, simple pleasures to go unappreciated. We take them for granted or allow the pace of life to crowd out any thought of thanks.

Consider the Scriptures*:

Luke 17:11-19

Jesus Heals Ten Men With Leprosy

¹¹ Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. ¹² As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance ¹³ and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

¹⁴ When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

¹⁵ One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. ¹⁶ He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

¹⁷ Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? ¹⁸ Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” ¹⁹ Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.” 

It's cool that this event was important enough to be recorded in the scriptures, and it underscores the importance of thanking God. But getting healed from lifelong leprosy is a pretty HUGE deal. What about the everyday blessings?

1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

"...pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

Seems like thanking God is important for all things. Even the tough times. So take the time today to crowd out the world and thank God for the small things. And if you feel comfortable doing so, leave a comment telling us what small things you thank God for.

*New International Version (NIV) courtesy of BibleGateway.com

Cheap Grace is Dead Wrong, but NOT for the reason you might think. (Repost)

I ran into someone the other day who pointed out that within this post, I became a little too pointed and a lot too personal. I thought a lot about it, and reread what I had written. It was true. I didn't mention any names, but I attacked with way too much specificity and zeal. I had no call to say some of the things I said. I apologize. That said, I firmly believe in the truth of this article as it stands now. I've made changes that better reflect the argument and reasoning...rather than the anger I was feeling when I originally wrote. So, if you're a Christian, and you're stuck on the not-so-merry-go-round, read on and discover just how amazing God's grace really is. --WtB

Cheap Grace

I am an angry man right now. It's not the simple anger of a bad call in a football game. It's not the reactive anger of stubbing my toe or stepping on a kids' toy left in the wrong place. No, this is the kind of anger that comes from years of mistreatment at the hands of the unjust. This is waking up after years in the Matrix, realizing for the first time that you've been a slave.

That's how angry I am.

You see, my Pastor (Joe Duke, Lifepoint Church) is preaching out of Romans (my favorite book of the Bible). And his sermon this weekend, "A Matter of Life and Death," finally rang some much needed bells in my head. And I woke up. You can listen to the sermon here by the way: A Matter of Life and Death, Joe Duke, Lifepoint Church.

And when I woke up, I became angry. I'm not just angry for myself. I'm angry for generations (maybe centuries) of Christians who have been mistreated or misstaught or misled on two key areas of Christianity:

The Grace of God

and the Nature of Justification

So what's the problem? What has imprisoned me and so many Christians for generations? What is it about some teachings related to Grace or Justification?

The problem is that there are those who consciously or unconsciously teach that people can only be saved from hell by Grace plus something. It's the plus something that murders humanity.

The problem is that there are those who consciously or unconsciously teach that Justification can be proved or disproved by a person's behavior, implying that the only people who are really justified (who are really Christians) are the ones who live a virtually sinless or actually sinless lives. This imprisons humanity behind bars of ice. 

And when someone like me comes along and says: "Wait a second! The Bible tells us that salvation is FREE. The only thing that must be true of us is that we believe that Jesus died for our sins and confess Him as Lord. And by God's amazing Grace, we are saved! We are justified which means declared ultimately righteous. And it's a free gift." When someone like me says something like that, there are those who would accuse us of me of teaching, "Cheap Grace."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German theologian who spoke out against Nazi aggression during World War II. Bonhoeffer was arrested and eventually hung for his faith and his relentless criticism of Nazi evil. He was a great man, a brilliant man, a man who no-doubt inspired thousands, if not millions to become Christians or follow after Jesus. I have no right to speak against him, but I do believe some of his teachings are either somewhat errant or have been horrendously misunderstood. In his treatise "The Cost of Discipleship," Bonhoeffer wrote this:

"Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting today for costly grace."

"The only man who has the right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ."

-Dietrich Bonhoeffer

We read those now out of context, of course, and that's why I think, perhaps Bonhoeffer didn't mean what it sounds like he means. When you read this, part of you wants to raise a fist and yell, "ROCK ON!" But there's this nagging suspicion that something's a little off. In the first quote, do you see the pair of oxymorons? "Cheap Grace" and "Costly Grace." Neither of these things are possible. Not if we understand the Biblical definition of Grace.

In the second quotation, do you see the issue? If you are justified by grace alone, how can leaving everything behind be a PRErequisite? How can there be any other condition if you are saved by grace ALONE. There cannot be. Not if we understand the Biblical definition of Grace.

Ephesians 2:8-9

^{8 9}"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."

Romans 3: 21-23

 ²¹ But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, ²² even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction; ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus;

Romans 4: 1-6

 ¹ What then shall we say that Abraham, our forefather according to the flesh, has found? ² For if Abraham was justified by works, he has something to boast about, but not before God. ³ For what does the Scripture say? “ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS CREDITED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS.” ⁴ Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor, but as what is due. ⁵ But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness, ⁶ just as David also speaks of the blessing on the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works..."

Romans 5:1

 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ..."

Romans 5:15-17

  ¹⁵ But the free gift is not like the transgression. For if by the transgression of the one the many died, much more did the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abound to the many. ¹⁶ The gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned; for on the one hand the judgment arose from one transgression resulting in condemnation, but on the other hand the free gift arose from many transgressions resulting in justification. ¹⁷ For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ. 

Galatians 3: 1-11

 ¹ You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. ² I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? ³ Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? ⁴ Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain? ⁵ So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard? ⁶ So also Abraham “believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.”

 ⁷ Understand, then, that those who have faith are children of Abraham. ⁸ Scripture foresaw that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, and announced the gospel in advance to Abraham: “All nations will be blessed through you.” ⁹ So those who rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.

 ¹⁰ For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse, as it is written: “Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law.” ¹¹ Clearly no one who relies on the law is justified before God, because “the righteous will live by faith.”

Romans 6:23

²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

God gave His life up for us. He ransomed us, paid our debt, and saved us. He GAVE us forgiveness. He gave us salvation. He gave us life. And He gave us eternity in Heaven. 

Grace is defined as unmerited favor. We didn't deserve it. We didn't earn it. We have nothing to boast about. We have no byline, and our names are not in the credits of Grace. It is God's gift. Do you see how many times the scriptures declare it is a gift? A pure gift, uncorrupted by any puny deeds we might manifest? You just can't have "cheap" or "costly" grace. It cannot be costly and costless at the same time. It's free. Do you hear me? IT IS FREE.

Now, there are some who distinguish the cost of Grace to God from our own cost. Yep. I get that. Jesus had to leave heaven and put on mortal flesh. That cost Him. Jesus has to muddle through human existence for 33 years. That cost Him. Jesus had to endure the taunts, the spit, the torture, the humiliation, and death on the cross. That cost Him...dearly. Perhaps even more than all of that: Jesus had to experience a span of time where He was completely cut off from God the father. I often wonder if that wasn't the moment where Jesus experienced the blow from the bearing the sin of the whole world--that in those moments, Jesus took the sum total of all humanity's sin and separation, the sum total of all humanity's eternity stay in hell--upon Himself. Grace cost God more than we could ever tally or imagine. Frankly, we're just too limited to go there. But for us, the recipients of Grace, it is free.

Believe: It really is that simple

What is the one word used the most in the New Testament to explain how a person gets saved? You guessed it. Believe. BELIEVE and you will be saved. For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that any who would BELIEVE. John wrote his whole gospel to encourage folks to BELIEVE.

Now, you might be thinking that the word "believe" in the Bible has some double-secret probationary meaning. Maybe in the Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic there's some extra complication to the word "believe" that Western readers wouldn't understand today. Nope. It meant then just what it does today. It means to be persuaded, to understand and agree with, to trust as true, or to pledge faith in as reliable. How can it be that simple?

I think that's the real problem. We stubborn humans just can't accept something as free. There's got to be a string attached somewhere, right? Maybe we think we'll be more spiritual if we do something to get it. Maybe we think we're helping God out. Maybe we rightly know how screwed up we are, how big a debt we owe, and then wrongly assume that, therefore, we owe some kind of penance before we can be truly saved. Maybe we were raised to be independent, can-do people.

But sorry...what do the scriptures tell us? Jesus did it all. And He gives it to us for FREE.

And the cool thing is that God knew all along how screwed up we are. He knew all along that there was NO WAY we could save ourselves. He knew our natures and knew we needed an utterly complete, simple gift--or we'd all be toast. Literally.

"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. (For rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person perhaps someone might possibly dare to die.) But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, because we have now been declared righteous by his blood, we will be saved through him from God’s wrath. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, how much more, since we have been reconciled, will we be saved by his life?" Romans 5: 6-10


See there, God's absolute brilliant generosity. God wasn't about "Go clean up your act, and then come see me about salvation." God wasn't about "Go do more and more sacrifices, and then come see me about salvation." God wasn't about "leave everything behind, and then I'll save you." No, God said, "Let me make this easy for you. Believe." 


John expressed what kind of simple belief was necessary when he compared Jesus to something Moses did back in the OT:


"Just as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.”

This hearkens back to Numbers 21 where God sent poisonous snakes to bite some sinful folks who just wouldn't listen. Then, in their misery, they cried out for help. Moses held up a bronze serpent (the symbol of the AMA) and all who looked at it were saved. Jesus, John says, is just like that. He was lifted up so that all of us miserable folk could look to Jesus for salvation...and be saved. It's just that simple. Look on Him. Believe He can save you. Boom, it's done. 

Modern Pharisees

So who's trying to sell Grace with a string attached? I won't name names, but you've probably heard of many of them. You've read their books, heard their sermons, etc. They will use all kinds of interesting phrases for it: full surrender, Lordship, absolute repentance, sinless perfection, instant sanctification, and so forth. And each one of these tells you to believe in Jesus for salvation, BUT...  There's something else: some level of repentance, some activity, some attitude--some something necessary to really be saved.

According to many of these groups, especially the sinless perfection folk, a person who calls himself a Christian, who then sins often (or even at all, in some extreme teachings), must not be a Christian at all. Never was one. Or maybe was--but lost salvation. (Don't get me started on "losing salvation." Hello, it's called ETERNAL life for a reason!) These folks clearly have x-ray soul vision and can see an unregenerate heart. They will say in one breath, Grace alone, but in the next--so long as you don't sin, believed in this certain way, or add this to belief. And they would then accuse me of teaching "cheap grace." 

These folks are like modern Pharisees, trying to add to God's work on the cross. Remember the Pharisees? Of all the folks Jesus met on earth, the Pharisees earn the prize for being ripped up one side and down the other by the Son of God. He called them serpents, hypocrites, white-washed tombs, and more! Why? Jesus didn't like that these mere men were adding rules, adding restrictions, adding ANYTHING to God's way.

I'm sick of it too. Seriously. SICK OF IT. My problem started way back when I first became a Christian. The dude who led me to the Lord was one GLOW IN THE DARK believer. Based on the person I assumed this guy to be, I assumed that as soon as I believed, WHOOSH, there goes all my issues with sin.

Well, there were some neat changes initially. I stopped cursing. I quit drinking. I dumped tons of things that might have been temptations. It was kind of a cleansing. Was I completely sin-free during that time? I don't think so. It was 20+ years ago, so I can't really recall. But I don't think I was ever sin-free. At the very least, I remember getting really angry playing a video game and throwing the controller so hard against the wall that is put a hole in the drywall. So, yeah, I probably sinned still during that time. And yet, it was a change.

But it didn't last forever. Even though, I was in the word more than ever, praying more than ever, and active in church more than ever, sin crouched at my door and I stepped in it like is was a pasture full of manure. Decades went by. Some days, months, years were more pure than others. But, if I am honest, there were periods where I sinned more as a believer than I did during certain periods as an unbeliever. So what happened? Did I lose my salvation? Was I never a Christian to begin with? And for those who might teach such things: just how much sin is necessary to show I never was a Christian? One sin a day? Twelve? 17.5? 

As you might have guessed, I noticed the discrepancy between my status as a Christian and my behaviors. And honestly, the first fifteen years of my Christian life were characterized by frequent terrors of hell, by questioning my salvation, by repeated altar calls and sinners prayers, etc. etc. Eventually, I came to a kind of stasis. I just kind of said to God that I don't know how to be more sincere. I don't know how to have more genuine faith. And I need help.

I led Bible studies week after week. And I could argue apologetics with atheists, mormons, Jehovah's witnesses, evolutionary biologists, etc. But the sins didn't always stop. Neither did the fears. I became a bit of an insecure Christian. I clung to Jesus and felt a desperate need for His touch, but I also couldn't seem to let go of the fears. And those fears made almost EVERY single act of Christian service feel hollow and insincere. I could witness to people, but like CS Lewis said, it felt like I was handing out brochures to a place I had never visited.
 

Holy Facepalm, Batman!
But, over time, and with the help of some pretty amazing apologetics-meisters, and especially with God's grace, I came through and utterly dismissed that errant belief system. So when my pastor began preaching out of Romans, it just connected. It was like a Holy Facepalm! How could I fall for that utter nonsense? How could I listen to this false teaching and remotely entertain the thought that I might be cheapening grace.

You know who "cheapens" Grace? It's these folks, these false teachers. As if God's grace can't cover all sins. As if God's grace can't save you unless you...blah, blah. As if God's grace just isn't powerful enough...unless we help.

You who try to add clean living or baptism or full sacrifice or total repentance or anything else to grace: STOP IT. Who can supplement the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross? Does Jesus' suffering, death, and resurrection NEED anything to supplement it? Is it not enough? Was Jesus kidding on the cross when he cried out, "It is finished"?

To those who see other Christians who sin, and in your minds judge them as people "who can't possibly be saved," is it not you who, in judgment, are serving the devil? Do you know that person's soul? Are you finding a label for these people out of a desire to comfort your own discomfort? Are you troubled by the incongruence between the name Christian and obvious sin? And since you can't make heads or tails of that, do you then comfort yourself by a wholesale declaration that sinning Christians aren't really Christians at all?

Matthew 23: 13 and 15

“But woe to you, experts in the law and you Pharisees, hypocrites! You keep locking people out of the kingdom of heaven! For you neither enter nor permit those trying to enter to go in. 

“Woe to you, experts in the law and you Pharisees, hypocrites! You cross land and sea to make one convert, and when you get one, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves!" 

What you do is drive away the lowly, broken Christians who have blown it, making them think they never were Christians to begin with. And since they never were, they despair that they never can become Christians because they simply don't know how to muster more sincerity with which to believe. 

What you do is frighten whole generations of new believers into keeping a desperate, tragic secret. By your falseness, your legalism, and superficial holiness, you have made these new believer think that as soon as they become Christians, POOF, all troubles, all sin issues are instantly resolved. So now, these new believers, confronted with the reality of their own sin, inwardly cringe. Who can they tell and not be worried about rejection? And everyone else at church looks so great, like they've got the world on a string and the tiger by its tail. How can I possibly admit...that I mess up?

What you do is chase away the nervous unbeliever who comes to church one day, hoping against hope that maybe someone knows what they are going through. But instead, he finds a sanctuary filled with plastic people, perfect smiles and glad-handing glee-meisters…and if he digs deep enough, he finds hypocrites. 

I can't possibly know the motivations of teachers of such doctrines. I imagine that for a great many of them, they have the best of intentions. They want to steer people toward holiness, and that's not a bad thing at all, is it? No, not in essence. And I know for a fact that at least some who teach these troubling doctrines do a LOT of good, helping believers through many of life's difficulties and so on. They steer a great many people to Jesus...and that is fantastic. But, once a believer begins to mature and explore the theology, he/she will discover a troubling and often crippling set of disclaimers like: 1) You have faith, but need ___ as well  OR  2) You believe, great, but you must be sinless now or you weren't really a Christian  OR  3) You believe, but have you left all behind? Etc. etc.  

How dare we sell grace short by attempting to a) add something of human effort to it OR b) by claiming that Grace covers only a finite amount of sins (just the sins committed prior to conversion).

Priceless Grace

But, you may say, what about those people who claim to be Christians but sin...or even sin a lot? Well, maybe they are Christians and maybe they aren't. Maybe they are just walking out of fellowship with God. Maybe they have never been discipled properly or never had a good church...or even a friend good enough to teach and sharpen them. Isn't God's grace powerful enough to save them? Of course it is.

What if they sin a little? How do you define "a little?" What if they sin a lot? How do you define "a lot?" Do you see the problem? It's a problem of YOU, finite man, trying to define something that only the infinite mind of God has any right to define.

And I ask again, isn't grace powerful enough to cover those sins? Of course it is. You cannot out-sin Grace. Don't take my word for it. God has a lot to say on the matter. Check out Romans.

"The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,  so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6: 20-21

Grace always trumps sin. ALWAYS.

God took a magnificent risk in dying for sinful people. He risked that once we believe in Him and receive the gift of eternal life, we might at some point, just walk away. You've seen it, and I've seen it. We might as well stop denying it or trying the old "never was a Christian dodge." My first pastor was as godly and wise a man as you're ever likely going to meet. On fire for the Lord for thirty plus years. Smart as a whip. Taught at an accredited Bible College, led hundreds maybe thousands to Jesus. The man's faith was no doubt Grade A bonafide true. Ten years later, gone. Left his wife. Left the church. Struggling. Let every man be a liar and God be true. God has saved this man. Yes, even him. Or even me. I still sin too. And I say, there but for the Grace of God go I. See, I look at the picture below and see a sacrifice so great and so comprehensive--an ocean of agony to rescue broken mankind. Grace trumps sin.

Please understand, I am not advocating any kind of universalism thing here. Jesus' sacrifice is powerful enough to save mankind, but it did not save everyone. Some will reject the gift of Eternal Life. Some will reject the Grace of God. It's a free gift, but people still have to accept it.

Sinning Free for All?

At this point, you might be wondering: does that mean that I can become a Christian and just go sin all I want? Paul addressed that question in Romans too.

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?" Romans 6: 1-2

Here, God is saying, you no longer have to live that way. Sinning hurts nonChristians. There are nasty natural consequences to sin. But for the believer, I think it's tenfold. You get the natural consequences plus some. You may lose the assurance of your salvation--the feeling that you are saved. You may be driven practically mad by the disconnect between your inner man who is alive with Christ and the outer man sinning madly. You might even just die. The wages of sin is death. And one thing that's definite is that you'll lose reward in heaven. That's another topic for study. Seriously, there will be glorious rewards in heaven, but not everyone will earn them.

Salvation--Justification--the Grace of God is FREE. Discipleship is costly. Sanctification is costly. Growing to be more like Jesus will refine you through Holy Fire. Christians have lots of work to do. Jesus Himself prepares good works for us to do. That's kind of a cool thought. But please get the point: all this is once you are IN THE FAMILY. Once you are saved, then the works come. But not automatically. You need the power of God each and every day to follow after Him.

Get off the not-so-Merry-go-round

Do you believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay for your sins (past sins, present sins, and future sins)? Do you believe He is the Son of God who rose again to defeat death once and for all? Do you believe Jesus loved you enough to give his life for you? You do? Great. You're saved. God saved you.

But the thing is, you really have to SETTLE IT. You can't go back and forth on this. Trust me. It is a never ending cycle of futility. Am I saved? Yes, but I sinned. Maybe I wasn't saved. Lord, save me. Oh, I must be saved now. Crud, I sinned again. Maybe it didn't take. Lord, save me.

See where that leads? I'm convinced that the "Am I saved or not technique" is one of satan's greatest ploys to keep Christians from doing God's work. If you're not convinced you're saved, all you'll do is pine over that. You won't be much good to the cause of Christ. SETTLE IT.

Jesus paid your price. You are saved. If you sin again, confess it, move on! Ask God to give you the power to turn from sins. Look for the way of escape God provides us for every temptation. It'll be there. Seriously. Get a friend to hold you accountable. Pray for each other.

One more thing: be real. Stop trying to act more put-together than you are. Remember the broken sinners, Christian and nonChristian alike. Maybe they need an ear and an arm rather than an eye of judgment.